strategies at home: family points

We're trying something new.  Every once in a while parenting calls for being a bit creative.  So we've started something called "family points" for our girls for a little while.  The basic idea is to teach them that being in a family is being part of a team and we all need to work together and think beyond just ourselves.

I have a running tally of points on our kitchen chalkboard.  The girls earn points by actions that benefit an orderly and peaceful home, likewise they lose points by actions that result in chaos or offense.  The reward of our "teamwork" (the goal right now being 25 pts.) is something fun for the family to do together - specifically, we get to go choose a board game to purchase and spend time playing together.

Some examples of ways the girls are earning points right now are clearing their dishes from the table after meals (something they already know they are supposed to do but occasionally still forget), tidying their areas (bedroom and playroom), resolving arguments peaceably, being helpful during outings (such as to the grocery store), helping each other and other family members, speaking with nice tones and politeness, etc...

I deduct points for failing in the areas I mentioned above and things like screaming, calling to me from all the way across the house, being rude, or when I have to clean up after them, etc.

So far so good.  We haven't reached our goal yet...the points go up and the points go down.  Might not work for everyone, but for us it seems to actually be helping the girls clue in on family as a team and seeing a bigger picture than just themselves.  

I'll let you know how it goes and when we get that new game!

Comments

[stephanie balvin]

I love the idea and I would love to instill in our home, however, I don't think I could be consistent with it. How do you remember to give points? Do you do it all at the end of the day or as the day goes?

[tricia]

I award and detract points all day long throughout the day and if we are not at home, I keep a tally in my head and write it up when we return. Right now we are focusing on a few specific areas (such as clearing dishes and not calling to me from clear across the house for example) which makes it easier - so it's not like I'm awarding a gazillion points all the time and it helps them key in a little better to what is expected. We'll start again after the first 25 pt reward and add some more expectations and just evolve as we go.