My time is very limited these days - hence the less regularity with which I am posting. It is interesting trying to move gracefully in and out of seasons of life, isn't it? The one I find myself in now comes with a great number of challenges - though it is matched in number of joys and blessings. So here is where I'm at:
I've got one kiddo who is in first grade, whom I am homeschooling. Two children who are not school age yet (though one is preschool and I do activities with her) that I am caring for throughout the day. Since we are at home, I have a house which quickly comes undone by toys, school materials, meal dishes, etc which are taken out and used throughout the day. Thus, there is a certain kind of chaos around here that is unevitable - and perhaps therefore not bad - but not altogether restful either. On any given day of the week, I will remove myself from bed around 7 am and thereafter I will not sit down nor stop moving in general until about 7:30 pm. I am always moving - even if we do sit to read some books, I will rearrange children, get up to help the baby or find the security item, turn pages, pull up a blanket. MOVEMENT - that is the way to describe this season. We are moving through it, always moving. My daytime is filled with organizing, cleaning, teaching, instructing, disciplining, comforting, preparing, feeding, finding, leading, correcting, encouraging, more feeding, etc.... And my brain is moving in and out of all of my roles about as quickly as I am moving from one room to another. And even so, my train of thought is constantly (and I do mean constantly) interrupted by one of three children calling out to me to help them, answer a question, direct them, soothe them...
I am not complaining. Despite the fact that at this stage - when I have several very young children to attend to - I have little room for other personal pursuits, I know that there will be plenty of time for that when they are a little older and the time does pass so quickly. I have chosen this for us and I do not regret it - despite all the challenges, I ponder my decision to be a stay-at-home-mom and a homeschooler and I cannot for the life of me desire it to be any other way.
So, I'm a little more tired these days and I find myself daydreaming about having a personal assistant and wondering when my brain is finally going to say "enough!". I find I have to be very protective of our schedule and of my time with my husband. Despite all the challenges, I find myself realizing how quickly the time really does go by and how very little time in general I will spend in this season - and I find that I would labor all the more if needed than trade the time I have with these little ones now. This season is hard - I won't kid you, it is seriously very difficult. But, it will pass into another very quickly. Never, never, never again will I have these days back. I find it very, very worth it all.