Reston Mom

Letting go a little at a time

Hope and Maddie have been spending the week with their grandparents.  I'm so happy for them - I think that having relationships with your grandparents is special.  I kind of missed out on that, and I'm thrilled that they won't have to.

But, I'm missing them.  I'm walking around thinking to myself that it feels kind of lonely around here - at least, very quiet.  And I'm thinking, am I going to be one of those empty nesters that sends their kids tearfully off to college and then doesn't know what to do with themselves?  I'm not, well yes to the tearful part, but not the other part.  That doesn't stop the question from running through my head though.

As a homeschooling mom, I have the privilege of spending a lot of time with my kids.  Not all of it is easy, but I really do relish it.  I love knowing them.  And, they are a very big part of my life right now.  I wouldn't say I'm dependent on them though or have some unhealthy reliance on them for my own personal satisfaction or happiness.  I just really like those kiddos.  

We raise our children to leave us.  I once heard a person say that, or I read it, or something like that. But it is true.  My intention has never been to hold on forever - I want my kids to go and chase their dreams and have their own families and fulfill whatever it is that God has planned for them.  

Sometimes letting go is not easy.  I think maybe it is a control thing.  Right now, I'm not in control of my children.  I can't be sure they are eating healthily or practicing good safety.  I can't be an extra set of eyes and ears and hands for them.  That is really uncomfortable. Not for them, but for my own vulnerable heart.

But, I have left them in the care of people whom I trust.  I know that my parents love my children and are able and willing to take extra good care of them.  

This is a small step of practice for the days ahead when my children will be grown and will leave my home to make their own.  Those days will be tearful, I'm sure, but happy tears.  I'll be releasing my kids totally to the care of the most trustworthy, most able, most loving One - the same God who has been trustworthy with my own life and even now watches, protects, and prepares my children in His grace.

I'm grateful that because of Him, I do not fear.  But, I'm also grateful for the chance to practice letting go a little here and there along the way - I like to think of the cutting of the apron strings less as a painful severance of a too-tight knot and more as a slow, gentle, peaceful loosening.  

2 interesting facts about Ami

I wrote a post a long while ago about how "Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You?" (the little board book version) was the favorite of both Hope and Maddie.  Turns out, it is Ami's favorite too.  We have a gazillion books (we can never have enough) and you can hide that one anywhere and she'll pull it out.  It is the one she brings to me over and over again.  I find it interesting that all three of my kids were really attached to this particular book at different times.  I've had it memorized for years as a result.

Secondly, Ami is apparently very, VERY sensitive to mosquito bites.  She got a few over a week ago and they swelled up to massive proportions.  I'm very sensitive too, so I didn't worry about it too much at the time, but she looked terrible with these big red welts.  Since then, we've noticed a pattern.  She'll get a bite one day (we're seriously trying to protect her, but those nasty buggers keep finding a way!) and you'll hardly notice it.  By the next day it will swell up huge and turn red, then eventually she'll break out with a few hives or bumps just around the bite area.  Poor kid. She doesn't seem to scratch at them too much, but they just look terrible and irritating.  I guess we'll have to be extra vigilant with her and maybe invest in some hydrocortizone cream or benadryl just in case. 

moving into the big girl bed

Ami is on her way to moving into her big girl bed.  We decided to go ahead and move her out of the crib so that the new baby can use it when it is time.  Hope and Maddie have shared a room for a few years now and Ami will make 3.  The girls love sharing a room and basically it is just a "bunk room" for sleeping and maybe reading or having a private moment during the day.  The bedroom next door is the play room with all of the toys.  Ami is currently in a small nursery room which will become the baby boy's room.  

I always hear a lot of questions about when to move the baby out of the crib, whether to use a toddler bed, etc...  There are a lot of ways to go about that, so I'm not saying our way is the right way.  I just thought I'd share with you what we have done in case you are wondering how we made it work.

Maddie was born the day before Hope's 2nd birthday.  Hope had already been sleeping in a twin bed for a couple of months by then with no problem.  We decided to forgo the in-between toddler bed b/c we already had a twin bed and it didn't make much sense to purchase a new toddler bed and mattress.  We had moved into this house in the spring.  At that time, we set up Hope's nursery where she was sleeping in the crib. But, in expectation of the new baby, we also set up her "big girl" room with the twin bed. She basically had two rooms and enjoyed sitting on and playing on the twin bed.  I began to have her nap in the twin bed while she still slept at night in the crib.  She already had an affection for the twin bed and was a good sleeper, so she took to this easily.  Then one night, I simply asked her "do you want to sleep in your crib or the big girl bed?" and she picked the twin bed.  She slept there for naps and night time ever since.  She was only 1 1/2 or so at the time, so if you are wondering whether it is possible to make this transition early - the answer is yes, it is possible.  (BTW - our twin, which could be converted into a loft, had wooden guard rails all the way around, so that was helpful too).

Maddie was a little older when we moved her because we wondered how different sleep patterns would come into play with the sisters sharing a room.  I honestly can't remember all the details of how we did it with her - but we did move her directly into a twin bed (we lofted Hope's and slid Maddie's underneath like bunks).  We used one of those sleep guard rails you can buy at Target or wherever.  She was probably about 2 at the time and the girls are very close, prefer to share a room, and really miss each other if one isn't there.

So now we have Ami - who is not quite 1 1/2 yrs. yet.  But, with the new baby coming in the fall, we've started to make some arrangements around the house.  This included buying bunk beds.  Now Hope sleeps on her loft (with space underneath for bookshelves and a little seat, etc...) and Maddie sleeps on the top bunk on the wall across from her.  The bottom bunk is to be Ami's.  Since it is all set up, I figured we'd go ahead and start working with Ami.  Hope and Maddie are away at their grandparent's house this week, and I figured it was a good non-stressful time to start to work this out.  So, I had Ami take her afternoon nap in there today.  It did take her a few minutes to settle down - but being as how she was tired and had her blankie and is a good sleeper and easy to put down for naps in general - she eventually fell asleep and did very well.  So she will continue to nap in there this week and eventually down the road here before too long, we'll give it a shot a night.  So, again, it is possible to do this early if you need or want to.

Although, you may not want to.  I know some parents find it more convenient to have a child stay in a crib longer where they are contained when they wake up (though some kids learn to get out anyway).  I used to put a little pressure gate in the doorway of Hope's room at first because I didn't want her wandering (falling) down stairs in the morning or the middle of the night.  One of my fondest memories is of her standing at the gate each morning calling in her little voice "mama! I wake up! mama! I wake up!" Also, once you have a good sleep routine on your hands, I understand why parents are really hesitant to do anything that might change that. 

I have to say that we have moved very early on this on all three accounts.  But I think that we are proof in a way that you don't have to follow some prescribed pattern of when and how and to what size bed. Just take care that the kids are safe and do what works for them and you. 

sunflower cookies

These are so cute.  I think one cookie would send anyone into sugar overload - but I'm definitely going to do this as a special reward with the girls one day after school this fall.  Check out the how-to and complete article here at makeandtakes.com 

  

New hairstyle

I'll get back to blogging some things again here soon.  In the meantime, look what I discovered - BANGS! I didn't cut them in, it is actually just hair growing in again from losing a ton after Ami's birth.  I haven't had bangs since...well, since I was like 3.  Weird that I seem to have lost a ton of hair right up front at my forehead.  In the meantime, I guess I have a new option with how I wear my hair - though I can't say I approve of my hair changing styles without my permission! I can't wait to see what my hair is doing after this next baby is born - it is going to be CRAZY.  Strange layers anyone? 

 Sorry for the terrible quality of this picture - but you get the idea.

 

(un)predictable birth

More often than not, something doesn't go according to plan.  I think moms tend to forget that - but it is something we all should remember and remember to tell first-time moms.  It seems like these days there is a lot of talk and emphasis about birth plans and birth stories.  You don't have a birth story until the birth happens.  And frequently, the plan and the story just don't match up.  Apparently this ends up being a big disappointment to many moms.  I think it is probably good to go in having thought through things, made some decisions ahead of time, and with hope and expectation for the best experience you can imagine. But, I also think it is necessary to go into the birth experience with expectation that something won't go the way you thought it would. 

I have known several moms who have desired a home birth or natural birth, only to have unforeseen things require them to move to a hospital and make use of the medication and technology available there.  On the other hand, I have a friend who, just this week, having planned to birth her son at the hospital within walking distance of her house, had no time and delivered the baby with her husband in their bathroom. Kind of ironic, isn't it? 

Things didn't go the way I had planned at first either.  But thereafter, I've had a weird privilege of predictability.  I'm not saying this as any kind of endorsement for c-section if you don't have to go that route, but it is kind of nice to already have my son's birthday picked out.  I knew ahead of time the day that my second and third daughter would be born.  I knew who would be at my house to help, what time the child would be born and how long I would likely stay in the hospital.  Unfortunately, I also knew what the recovery ahead would be like.  Gratefully, things went according to plan.  The c-sections were all successful with zero complications during or after the surgery, all of my babies were healthy - Maddie and Ami were even the exact same weight at birth! With 3 kids, I have relatively little experience with unpredictability in birth.  But, when it comes to this next c-section, that is exactly what I am hoping for - no surprises.  

It is a little bit weird to not have to anticipate the surprise timing of labor starting.  I'll never know what it feels like to push a baby out or to go home the next day.  But, I'll never say that I'm disappointed with my birth stories.  My stories are this: Three times I have given birth to a healthy child, bonded with them, recovered from c-section, and gone on to raise healthy children.  I count that as success.  And even more, I count it as God's grace and blessing.  

Just a reminder to wash your grocery bags

 Ugh - I still can never remember to bring my re-useable grocery totes to the store with me.  At least I'm an avid recycler of the the plastic grocery bags we end up using.  But for those of you who are on the ball - here is friendly reminder to toss those bags in the wash once in a while.  Turns out, according to a recent study, that bags which are re-used for groceries can harbor harmful bacteria such as E.coli - especially if you are storing them in your car during intensely hot summer days.  To help avoid illness, also remember to keep meats bagged in their own plastic baggie from the store and don't use your grocery totes for other purposes also such as going to the gym or beach. 
 

growth spurt

I think Hope is in a growth spurt right now.  You can never really tell, but lately she has been making extra complaints about being "soooo tired."  On top of that, on Saturday - at a cookout with friends - she ate 3 hamburgers (no buns), corn on the cob, grilled peaches, and dessert.  Then on the next day, at another cookout for the 4th, she ate an entire plate of food followed by 2 or 3 hamburgers, more fruit, more chips, and dessert.  I was amazed at the amount of food she put away this weekend.