Reston Mom

Boobie Buddies Breastfeeding Dolls

I couldn't decide whether I thought these were creepy or not.  Don't get me wrong, I'm all for breastfeeding and helping younger children to understand....but, even though it may not be as politically correct or teach the benefits of mother's milk to little girls - I still might rather that my daughters feed their own baby dolls from a bottle.  It seems to me that the "natural way to role play" might be by placing the baby doll under their own shirt (Hope used to do this), but it seems a little strange to roll play with someone else's bosom, including a busty mama doll.  Maybe not.  Am I alone in feeling this way?

silence

As a result of an infraction, both of my girls were sent just before two o'clock to their bedroom to stay there until dinnertime.  Maddie is sleeping and Hope is quietly reading to herself.  The house is eerily silent downstairs.  An hour has passed and I almost don't know what to do with myself.  A busy morning has left me tired, but now that I actually have the opportunity to relax...I'm finding it difficult. 

my article postponed

Ooops, I forgot to mention that my interview for the Reston Observer won't be published until next Friday.  I have no idea what it will be like. I'm not particularly good at interviews but the young woman, Leslie, who interviewed me was really nice and I got to hang out at Starbucks sans munchkins for a little bit :)

hooter hiders

We were at a large park the other day and in one little playground area, a couple of moms were sitting on the wooden edge nursing their babies.  (I'd like to interject here and say that l am all for a woman's comfort and right to nurse in public)  However, neither of them were wearing any kind of cover, not that they were really exposed or anything.  Still, as my girls wanted to play there, I accompanied them while my husband sort of looked on from the neighboring other play area.  I can't blame him....both clearly uncomfortable and a very respectful person, he simply chose to keep a little distance.  And I agreed with him that in a populated public area, nursing moms at least should use a blanket or something.  Anyway...all this to say two things - I might have recommended this nursing cover simply because I love the name Hooter Hider (hee hee).  And, I remember that a friend gave me a simple pashmina when Maddie was born, and I declared it the best thing ever!  It was large enough to wrap clear around me so that Maddie could neither pull nor kick it off, but it was light-weight so it didn't smother either of us.  Plus, it came in handy as a cover over the stroller when it was sunny or when Maddie was napping or as a blanket when it was a little chilly or something for the shopping cart seat.  It was cotton and washable and I took it everywhere!

Fame and Fun on Monday

So far, today has been an excellent day.  I started the day off with a Vivanno at Starbucks where I was interviewed about Restonmom for the Reston Observer (so keep your eye out for the article on this Friday!).  Then I picked up the rest of the fam and we headed out to Cabin John Park - where we had tons of fun riding the train and playing on the fantastic playground.  The weather was brilliant, even with my hair down and dressed in jeans I was chilly at times.  Tonight is family night, so I'll post about that soon.  There had to be at least one thing about your day that was great too, what was it?

tea and tattoos

Yesterday I got together with a bunch of friends to hang out over some authentic home-made chai tea, indian snacks and tea sandwiches and to experiment with henna tattoos.  It was a lot of fun, and I have a new found admiration for the intricate designs of Indian henna tattoos and for the artists who create them.  While we were just amateurs, I do think that our various designs turned out well - here is mine thanks to another creative friend.  I love crazy excuses to get together!

rockin' dreams

The capture is a little blurry...but here's my rock-star Maddie still pumping her fist to the music even after falling asleep.

first fudgesicle

sleeping baby

I could watch a sleeping child forever.  They just look so beautiful.....peaceful.  Especially my own little cherub, Maddie.

weekend highlights

finally painted the playhouse

sunflowers now blooming

Nana!

my new nephew

Maddie LaForge (outlet shopping :)

fan fun

sunflowers

The girls and I planted sunflowers from seed this year...and they are huge! Seriously, there must be a record-breaker here - do you see how that one reaches up to the second story of our house? It's been so much fun to watch them grow - at times more than an inch a day!!! Can't wait to see the blooms!

fish die

Some people say they just don't have a green thumb...everything planty that they touch seems to die. Transfer that sentiment to my fish tank and you can see the predicament I'm in. I just don't have a blue thumb? Honestly, I'm so frustrated right now over this whole thing that it's making me laugh - ever been there? Laughing at how worked up I am over something so small and stupid...because the only other alternative to release it to just pick the starter tank up and heave it right through the nearby sliding door.  Wouldn't that be a sight for the neighbors?
Welcome to my fishy saga: rewind back two years ago to a perfectly wonderful Christmas gift for my daughter - cute little starter tank, graceful goldfish (named Dorothy after Elmo's own)...ah, such great intentions!  Not so long later...yup, belly up.  So, I find myself suddenly standing at the precipice of exploring the great topic of death with my two year old, grasping for a sensitive manner that is both understandable and not life-scarring to a toddler, and like so many before me - instead of jumping right in, I simply orchestrated a secret run to the pet store to replace Dorothy in an impressively classic lie.  In my stroke of genius deception, I directed my husband to choose one fish that looked just like Dorothy and a friend who looked different, so that any suspicions might be allayed by the distraction of presenting a new friend (named Spotty). It was a brilliant plot, except for one thing.  Dorothy II outlived Spotty, but not long.  Of course, I had to give in and just tell it like it is to my daughter (because eventually the multiplication of fish would get overwhelming)..."sorry honey, Spotty died. Sometimes fish do." That apparently sufficed because my daughter only said "okay," and went on happily playing, and didn't seem to care when Dorothy followed suit.  But after three swift deaths, I wasn't ready to buy another fish without figuring out what was going wrong.  Of course, the tank sat empty of fish and full of water in my daughters room for a minium of six months thereafter...likely more.  Eventually it got emptied and moved to a closet...but it never left my mind.  I still retained hope for a lovely little successful aquarium for the girls.
At one point I went and reviewed with a nice, well-informed pet shop employee everything I needed to achieve this success, because surely I'm missing some key aspect...and then another three months later: fast-forward to yesterday: Bought a new filter and asked again what I could do to make this work...feeling good, this is going to be it this time!...get home, restore the tank to it's former glory (imagined glory) and prime it for today.  Today we went to the pet store and bought two new fish...not goldfish. The girls were adamant about this...and I was told that they are kind of "dirty" so you have to change the water frequently - more work for me, not an option.  We proudly brought our new friends home and placed their bags in the tank to acclimate...but not before I once again asked a store employee for tips about how to make sure this works.
One hour ago....dead fish.  One down.  Can this really be happening again?  We've followed all the instructions, all the preparation.  As soon as the other one dies (isn't that so pessimistic?), I'm going to dump the entire tank out, waltz into several pet stores and demand an explanation.   I just can't leave my girls education about fish at this...."so what do you know about fish, girls?"  "they die."

wills and custody

We recently had a very interesting and unexpected thing happen to us.  Some friends of ours asked us if we would consider taking custody of their children in the horrible event that something should happen to both parents. (This is not the family, by the way, whose children I watch regularly, for those of you who like to be sleuths :)  I was blown away by this.  It brought back to mind the need for my husband and I to have some wills executed for ourselves with stipulations for the care of our own children.  And as I pondered this and who I would entrust the care of my precious babies to, I felt totally honored and amazed that anyone would think so much of my husband and I that they would consider us, and I felt totally unworthy.  It really wasn't a difficult decision to say yes. Even after all things considered, I would absolutely love and raise those children as my own in a heartbeat, though I definitely hope and pray that nothing should ever happen to my friends.  I would definitely want to honor their wishes however, as I would want my desires for my own children to be honored.  For some people a choice like our friends made might be easy, but for others it may be really difficult.  In any case, I think it is wise to plan ahead for the best interest of our children in case of unfortunate events. 

mom burn out

I think every mother is entitled to physically/mentally/emotionally/relationally crash sometime, at least for a short while.  There is just so much going on that sometimes, not unlike my computer, we need to just shut down and start up again later.  And I'm not talking about needing to go out by yourself for a cup of coffee or a kid-free twirl around Target....I"m talking bawling, "everyone leave me the heck alone 'cause I can't handle it at the moment" adult meltdown.  This morning was my turn.  It's been a busy few weeks and right when I realized I was totally overstimulated (a very real problem for introverts like myself), we had a houseful of guests show up for the weekend.  One silly little thing put me over the top this morning, so my husband graciously agreed to suck up his own weariness and take the kids out of the house for a little while so I could "recover."  Wanna know what I did? I spent two hours watching Gilmore Girls, Full House, and Home Improvement reruns while I sewed new panel curtains for my girls' bedroom.  Daytime t.v. is something I never do and crafting something is so restorative and relaxing for me.  Hopefully the rest of the day will follow suit - Maddie is now napping, as is my husband, and Hope is quietly playing while I write.

living in between

Summer has been good for me.  Somehow, it has emphasized my efforts to slow down and savor my moments.  I've been trying to focus on the "in-between" a lot lately. You know what I mean....those moments in between everything else that we are doing.  The moments that are so often wasted and pushed aside by "hurry up" and impatience and total focus on the next thing we are doing whether it is really something important or just dinner or an errand or whatever.  Somehow, I think that it is in those moments where life really occurs.  So, I'm committing to quit telling my kids to hurry through them and to shifting my focus off of the next task at hand and into here and now more often.  So what if my kids want to walk home from the pool EXTRAORDINARILY slow?...let 'em be wet longer, eat dinner later and let's take the time to pick at pebbles and dawdle and just "be" together.  I've sometimes wondered where it is along the way that adults seem to lose their imagination and lose sight of the mystery and wonder of life and begin pummeling through it at full speed.  I think it happens when we get to the life stage where we must begin thinking about the next task in our day, when we become responsible and focused on our duties real and perceived.  But kids are still living in the moments in between.  They are alive and curious and adventurous as we carry them from one thing to the next throughout the day.  They don't seem to anticipate the next thing in the same way, they are too captivated by the opportunities that are presented in every moment, in now.  I think that's what people mean when they are lying on their deaths beds saying things about how much they wish they had taken the time to slow down and enjoy life, how they missed so much that they'd give anything to have back again.  All that time in between adds up to a lot of life.  I don't want to cast that aside in a rush for who knows what? and I don't want to teach my kids the nasty habit of doing that either.

she's an introvert

It is so interesting to watch the distinct and individual personalities of my children unfold before me.  In some ways, though they are my own, I am trying to get to know them as if I were learning about somebody else, a new friend for example.  It really helps me and our relationships to understand who they are apart from who I expect them to be.  My 4 year old is an introvert - I'm almost positive! You wouldn't probably know this from meeting my extremely vociferous daughter, but I am not talking about being shy or quiet.  I'm referring to how extroverted personalities are energized by being around other people while introverted personalities are drained of energy by others and are re-energized by time to themselves.  Hope may spend the day in the company of one or many people, but in either case she will inevitably come to a crashing point.  It becomes abundantly clear that she is done.  She'll tell me she's done, she wants to go home or be alone and she'll hole up somewhere by herself until she is rejuvenated again.  Understanding this about her has been fascinating and has helped us to avoid many meltdowns and misunderstandings.  It is fairly easy for me to recognize and cater to this because I am also an introvert.  My husband and other daughter, however, are not.  About the time that Hope and I are ready to retreat or bust, the other two are clamoring to get out and find more people.  It requires some balance among us all.

puppy in the window

I was at the Reston Town Center tonight (where I am loving the coming additions of stores like J. Crew and Urban Outfitters, by the way) and as we passed by Origins we saw this little lost puppy in a cardboard box with a sign that reads: "I was found by the fountain and miss my owner but Origins is taking care of me."  If you know me, or have been following this blog for any amount of time, you are probably aware of the 5th member of our family - a little brown, well-loved and worn puppy that goes practically everywhere with us in the possession of my 2 yr. old Maddie.  I have myself grown to love that puppy a ton a because of the comfort it has brought to Maddie, the sanity it has brought to me, and because it is practically an extension of one of the most precious people in my life.  So, needless to say, I was touched by the little puppy in the window - somewhere there is a little child who has loved this little stuffed animal to the point of looking nearly as ragged as our own "puppy" and I can't help but appreciate the person at Origins who realized the treasure in that toy as they passed and so could not leave it there. 

automatic flushers

Have you ever noticed that the automatic flush for public restrooms wasn't really designed with kids in mind?  I can't tell you how many times I've taken one of my girls into a public stall and had the toilet flush while they are still sitting there only to scare the jeepers out of them! Since they aren't quite tall enough yet, the sensor sometimes thinks they've left even when they haven't.  And then there is the added situation of it never flushing at all because it never sensed them in the first place, which doesn't matter quite so much because there is the little manual button.  Still, you should see the startled look in their eyes when they are sitting there peacefully taking care of business and suddenly, without warning, there comes the thundering Niagara Falls-noise of the super-powered public flush and occasionally a slight sprinkle from the upsurge. I think it has happened enough times now that they are getting used to it - they don't seem to instinctively leap away in terror anymore :)  I've tried standing there directly in front of them in order to fool the sensor, but inevitably they can't reach the toilet paper and so when I lean over to help - you got it - flush!

global food crisis and making a difference

It is shameful how easy it is to complain about rising costs of gas and groceries from the comfort of the richest nation in the world. I have to fight to keep perspective.  I don't know if you are aware that there is a global food crisis happening right now and that people are suffering.  It has been said that this crisis could potentially plunge an additional 100 million families on each continent into hunger.
"A combination of natural disasters, rising oil prices, and a reduction in staple food items like rice are ravaging families who were already struggling to buy food for their family. Because of these factors inflation has kicked in and caused food prices to soar over the past few months. This rise in food prices triggered the recent outbreak of violence in Haiti and in Bangladesh the cost of a kilo of rice went from $.31 to $.56 in less than 3 months. Most of these families living in poverty earn less than $2 per day and most of them are skipping meals because of the increase in costs." 
Brian Seay summarizes a massive issue - and his family has decided to make a small change to help make a difference. They aren't the only ones. A few families I know have decided to give up one dinner meal each week to just eat rice, only rice.  They will spend that evening teaching their children about a different country and families in crisis.  They have also decided to give 10% of their weekly grocery budget to the Compassion Food Crisis Fund.  Brian has said that he will write a weekly post with stories from these countries and their specific needs to help any family who would join their efforts.  I am so inspired by these families and appreciate the fact that they will not only make a difference by contributing financially, but they will also make a difference by raising compassionate children who will continue to look beyond themselves into the world around them. 

organics; better for kids, not the environment

While organic foods are better for human consumption...they aren't helping the globe's issue of greenhouse gases, in fact they may be contributing. 

• it takes more organically raised animals to meet the production of conventionally raised animals; more animals = more emissions.
• an organically raised cow gives off 16% more greenhouse gases than a conventionally raised cow; that's more cows + more emissions per cow
• organic beef steers take longer to achieve slaughter weight; more time = more emissions
• grass-fed cows burp up almost twice as much methane as grain-fed cows
• an organic chicken's lifetime greenhouse gas emissions exceed a non-organic bird's by 45%
• the meat-intensive diet generates 1.5 tons of greenhouse gases per year more than a vegetarian diet according to researchers at the University of Chicago
• organic fruits and veggies must use up more land per unit of food to match conventional yields
• plenty of organic foods are actually produced by industrial-scale farms, then shipped thousands of miles to their destination; picture refrigerated trucks belching carbon-dioxide and energy-dependent hothouses
• genetic-engineering may save millions of tons of CO2 annually
• rice that is genetically engineered to be nitrogen-efficient may save 50 million tons of carbon-dioxide per year

If you are serious about adopting a climate-friendly diet, you may find that the best bet is to cut out meat and eat food that is conventionally grown locally and in season. 

89,711 parenting books

Just out of curiosity, I visited Amazon's book section and searched "parenting."  The result was 89,711 books.
And I'm curious to hear what you would say that reveals about parenting in this day and age???

Exposing myself

When my sister started her blog in 2007, she included a few posts called "mama exposed."  The idea was to expose some of her imperfections - the fish that were swimming in murky tanks, the messy closets she couldn't get to, etc....   I think that we all have things that we'd rather not advertise because we want to appear to be good moms who have it all together.  But the reality of being a mom is that there is always something difficult, something we can't get to, somewhere that things are falling apart a little bit (or a lot), something we feel that we don't want to admit because we'd seem like terrible moms.  Little by little, I'm going to unveil some of those things in my life for you to take a peek at. Why? Just keepin' it real. As my husband is fond of pointing out; life is messy. (not just in the organizational sense)  Maybe you can relate and we can laugh a little.  Keep an eye out for "mama exposed."

            Here is a recent family photo: I love the looks on the girls faces - Hope is modeling the "life is perfect" fake mom-face, and Maddie is modeling the "mama exposed" face (not planned...just thought it was cute!)

little sleep, lots of fun....

Busy, but good.  That's how I might describe my week.  Mom came into town on Wednesday with my little sister (who will be staying with us for a week) and also Matt's mom arrived the same day.  My husband was MIA for the day as he was busy having meetings and running production for a large conference the next day.  They couldn't get into the venue to set up until late, so he didn't come in until 2 am, and I hadn't gone to sleep until midnight.  He got up again before 5 am to return to finish before the conference started that morning.  I spent yesterday in the company of around 800 people (including some blog friends :) listening to some amazing speakers and some amazing musicians (my husband was one of them - you guys rocked darlin'!) Matt officially crashed at 6 pm last night and I got up at 5 am to take my mom to the airport.  8:30 began my day of caring for four children and I'm already pooped and I miss my hubby. Still, it's been fun!  

I didn't have time to download any great pictures, but 10 pts. if you can spot the back of my head in this crowd :)

Our Town

Reston is a great place to live and raise children...and it's just an interesting place to live in general. Right now, for us, it's home.  Here are some things you might not know about the town:

• we have a level 4 strain of Ebola named after us - Ebola Reston.  Author Richard Preston wrote a "non-fiction bio-thriller" called The Hot Zone about the events surrounding this.
• Reston is an internationally known planned community (the first modern, post-war planned community in America)
• Reston straddles the Dulles Technology Corridor and is home to three Fortune 500 companies as well as the US Geological Survey, the National Wildlife Federation, and CNRI
• Reston is one of just a handful of communities in the U.S. that has been designated a backyard wildlife habitat community. Usually this designation is for single homes.
• Reston developed as 5 village centers and one town center
• Reston was the first post-war community in the U.S. to use clustered townhouse development, a strategy that allows for the preservation of open space along with higher density. Reston was also the first private 20th Century community in the U.S. to incorporate natural preservation in its planning.

lilaguide

If you aren't familiar with lilaguide, you might find it a helpful resource.  Self-tagged as the "word-of-mouth survival guide" it is chock full of information - baby gear, shops, activities, groups, services, restaurants and more are listed and then reviewed by real parents.  It's available for tons of different cities nationwide, including several right here in Northern Va.  Click here to see if there's one for your city.

Celebrate Mama!

On Sat. June, 7th there will be a "Celebrate Mama!" celebration held in D.C.    It's basically a big carnival of expo booths that brings together local products, services, and organizations that cater to mamas.   Each location has entertainment, crafts, raffles, and on-site services sprinkled in throughout the event.  Goodie bags will be given out to the first 250 families.  If you can't make it to this one, there will also be a celebration held in Vienna this fall - and if you want to participate as a vendor or just get your info. in their gift packets, here is the information.  Otherwise, check the website for more information about locations near you and ways that Celebrate Mama! can help market your business. 

little singers and dancers

Spent a couple of hours today at the playgrounds over at Bready Park in Herndon (good uncrowded playgrounds, if you've never visited.)  The girls were enthralled with watching people play tennis on the nearby courts and clapping for them.  But, they spent at least 30 minutes straight simply dancing and singing on the sidewalk.  No kidding.  30 minutes dancing and singing, happy and free.  I couldn't help but be slightly envious and totally entertained.  I also found myself wondering - do all little girls do this?  'Cause mine are always singing and dancing - all around the house, in the car, outside, everywhere! 

win $5,000 for crazy baby hair

Both of my girls were born with a ton of dark, unruly hair - and it has been tons of fun ever since.  So, I love that Johnson's is sponsoring a crazy baby hair contest.  The winner will receive $5,000 to go to their baby's college fund. Visit here to enter and to see the cute pics of other kids and their wild hair. 

Starbucks is my office today

I am at Starbucks, working on my speaking engagement for this Sunday.  Matt took the girls to Clemyjontri park and gave me the gift of a couple of hours of peace, concentration, and coffee :)  Of all the nicely dressed business people sitting around me, three tables are talking about their kids...just thought it was interesting. 

Speaking Engagement

  I've been asked to serve as guest speaker for RCC at the movie theaters in Reston Town Center and I'd love to have you there.  So please come join me Sunday at 10 am when I'll be sharing some insights about parenting and motherhood.  It's going to be a great time and I'm looking forward to it and to hopefully sharing that time with you. 

Freckles

My daughter Hope is my little "island girl."   In the summer (despite whatever amount of serious sunscreen I keep on her) her skin quickly turns it's hue to a lovely warm tan and her long wavy hair becomes a bright shimmery blond.  That combined with her propensity to run around mostly naked has earned her my little tropical nick-name.  Her younger sister however, is porcelain pale with light blue eyes.  Maddie can sunburn in no time at all.  It is interesting to see the two of them side by side, their complexions in contrast.  But something new has come out just recently.  My husband and all of his family have lots of freckles.  But because they don't appear right away on children, I had all but forgotten that my girls might inherit them too.  I spent several days wondering why a spot on Maddie's nose wouldn't wash off - until it dawned on me. Freckles!  Two cute little freckles, right on the tip of her nose! and so it begins.... 

orthodontics

When I was a small child, I began to have orthodontic work in my mouth due to a short or recessed bottom jaw.  The appearance is somewhat of an overbite, but the problem isn't the front teeth - the lower jaw needs to be brought forward and aligned properly.  This is important because it can later impede chewing and digestion.  Luckily, the work began while my jaw was still growing and so, although I did have lots of things with crazy names like "bio-nator"(pictured here) and "jasper jumpers" in my mouth for many years - I fortunately did not have to have my jaw broken and re-set like a friend of mine.   So...the point of sharing all this is, that I have discovered that my youngest daughter has that same ridiculous underbite and is likely going to have to endure all the work necessary to fix it while my husband and I endure paying for it all. UGH!!!!  I'd like to say, for the record, that I prayed ALOT for my girls teeth and eyes while I was pregnant.  Silly maybe, but after having a ton of stuff done to my teeth and wearing glasses since I was 2, I would have done anything to make it easier on them.  At least Maddie will have someone to empathize with her and I'll have yet a greater appreciation for my parents financial investments into my life and well-being!

How I spent today

Ask RESTONMOM - 5/1/08

Dear Restonmom,
"Given what you know of the ‘Reston scene’, if you will, would you choose Saturday or Sunday afternoon?  In other words, when do you feel parents are least likely to have a conflict?  On one hand Saturday is chores and errands day, but on the other hand, Sunday is chill out day."  - Gary (on planning a 5th birthday party)

Dear Gary,
    What a great question!  One that I'm sure all parents have struggled with at some point.  It's a difficult one to nail down.  My thoughts are this: If the party is to take place during the school year, I'd consider Saturday.  However, if school is out, then Sunday afternoon might be a good choice.  During the school year, parents are often hesitant to make plans for Sunday because either they are running around doing last minute things preparing for the week ahead or trying to have one more pull-together and restful day before school starts tomorrow.  It also is a common time for soccer teams to have games, for example.  However, during the summer months, Saturday becomes mom and dad's days for catching up on yard work, vacation, cook-outs, errands, chores, family, and more and Sundays take on a more lazy feel. Either way, your best bet is just to make sure that you give enough advance notice of the event.  I hope that helps some and I wish you the best with the party!

Dear Readers,
   We'd love to hear your comments on this one!

legalzoom.com

I never really thought about having a personal will until my children were born.  Mostly, I'm interested in having a document that would specify who would take care of them in the event that their father or I couldn't.  Many parents have probably considered this without acting on it due to the cost of hiring a lawyer.  A friend recently pointed me toward this site: legalzoom.com.   I don't have any real experience with them, but the concept is interesting enough to consider.  It helps you to quickly and affordably create reliable legal documents online from home or office.  Besides wills and living trusts, their services include business documents, real estate documents, trademarks, patents, and copyrights. 

Free Cone Day

Don't forget! - tommorrow is free cone day at Ben and Jerry's.

depression, teens, and an amazing friend

I just wanted to introduce you all to my amazing friend Brandi.  Brandi - who has a contagious smile and a super-adorable tiny daughter and her loving husband, a zillion friends, a great job, and the kind of personality that always makes you feel at home, welcome, and anxious to be friends with her.  Brandi - the same, who suffered from depression as a teenager, jumped off the Chesapeake Bay Bridge in a desperate effort to end her life, MIRACULOUSLY survived, and now shares her story to help others.  She has appeared on Dateline NBC, The Today Show, and Oprah Winfrey as an advocate for depression awareness and continues to speak in local high schools and other opportunities.  She is a prime example for a person who appeared to everyone have it all together but underneath was wrestling with a very real and difficult illness.  This is an issue that affects a surprisingly large number of teenagers today, as well as adults of all ages.  Her website is interesting, encouraging, and offers some great resources and continues to be updated.  Please check it out.

playground parenting

My daughter Hope had two separate run-ins with some poorly behaving children at the playground recently.  The first was when she was waiting politely to ask a girl (who was climbing up and down the slide repeatedly) if she might have a turn, but before she got the chance to even approach the girl, the girl came bolting at Hope for no reason - stopping an inch from her face to yell menacingly.  My daughter's feelings were so hurt.  Secondly, a little boy pushed Hope from the ladder, landing her on her butt on the ground - and then lied about it repeatedly.  In both cases, any parents were either completely absent from the scene or totally disinterested in being involved in any way.  Clearly, I am not going to allow the safety of my own children to be jeopardized...but when otherwise is it okay to step in and deal with another child's behavior? I don't want to lash out in an emotionally driven response to another child and I do want to leave room for my children to learn to deal with things by themselves (I don't want to be the playground police).  But what is the correct response for dealing with children who are making playground time miserable for the other kids present and whose parents don't care? My daughters are still learning how to deal with this kind of thing, how do I best stand up for them in the meantime?

sometimes you've got to live like it's Spring

I've totally been slacking on blogging lately, but I can't help it - you've got to make the most of Spring while it lasts! I'll be back to blogging tons on more great and helpful stuff soon.  In the meantime, I've just spent a long day watching four amazing children and trying to spend as much time outside with them as possible.  Now I'm headed out to dinner with a bunch of girl friends.  My husband has taken the girls to meet another dad and kids for dinner and playground time and we just managed to swap kisses in the passing.  I'd feel worse about not seeing him all day, except that the weekend is here and we've got great date plans for Monday - I always can't wait to spend some one-on-one with my hubby.  So, I'm in a great mood and the gorgeous weather hasn't hurt a bit.  I hope that whatever is going on in your lives right now, you are managing to feel even a tiny bit as playful and colorful and alive as Spring is. 

more quoteables

"Cleaning your house while your children are still growing,
is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."
- Mary Kay Blakely

"Every child is born an artist.
The challenge is to remain one once he grows up."
- Picasso

"To a child, love is a four-letter word:
T-I-M-E."
- Dr. Cindy Nurik

"A mother never stands so tall as when she bends down
to help her child."
- unknown

"There are two lasting bequests we can give our children.
One is roots, the other is wings."
- Hodding Carter, Jr.

poison ivy

Warmer weather means moms and dads doing yard work and little kids playing outside, so I thought a post on poison ivy might be helpful.  It was spurred on by the fact that I have a little bit on my elbow that I can't figure out for the life of me how it got there.  Unfortunately, I am spectacularly sensitive to this plant.  Here are just a few facts to keep in mind and I'll follow up later with a chart on identifying the culprit.

• nobody should assume they are immune to the irritation caused by the urushiol (poisonous oily sap) even if you have never experienced a rash/sensitivity before.  Immunity can be gained or lost and can change with age.
• if you know you've come in contact, immediately wash with cold water (not warm or hot) and soap to remove the urushiol. 
• beware of clothing, pets, yard tools, and any other item that may have come in contact with the plant. 
• never use a weed-whacker to remove the plant unless you want to get sprayed with the oils, never burn it, never yank it up by the roots- even in winter it can still give you a nasty rash.
• poison ivy grows everywhere in the U.S. except in some places on the west coast, which have poison oak instead, really high altitudes and deserts.
• you cannot spread poison ivy by touching the rash or by the water in the blisters - only by coming in direct contact with the oils from the plant. 
• poison ivy does have some good points: it feeds wild birds and animals who eat it without ill effect, it holds the earth very well against erosion near the ocean, Native Americans had medicinal uses for it.

My Beautiful Mommy

Got the scoop on this one from my friend Kirsten - a children's book aimed to help children understand and resolve fears about their mom's plastic surgery!  While I applaud the intent of the plastic-surgeon-father-of-six-author to communicate clearly with children, console fears, and explain why mommy "looks different" (some plastic surgeries are necessary and/or beneficial of course), I have to shake my head again at a society that measures worth by beauty and measures beauty by false and unrealistic standards.  What about a book that teaches that my mommy is beautiful because her nose is unique and her hips are curvy and she bears the loose skin and stretch marks of delivering a few kids?  I suppose the issue isn't really the book...but becoming mothers who understand true beauty and worth, exhibit self-confidence regardless of physical attributes, and teach future generations to do the same. 

quotable, part 1

" To be a good housewife and mother, you have to be more self-generated.  You have to create your own playground of the imagination, and the mind.  To be a really good, creative mother you have to be an extraordinary woman.  You have to keep yourself involved with your child during great periods of the day when it's just the two of you and you feel that at any moment you may literally go out of your mind."
- Meryl Streep

"Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brains."
- Martin Mull

A former first lady said,
" You know, at the end of your life, you will never regret not having vacuumed the living room, not having made the bed or not ironing one more shirt.  But you will regret times not spend with a husband, a friend, a parent, a child."

" A mother holds her children's hands for a little while, their hearts forever."
-unknown

no taunting your sister!

Usually Hope is the one who sometimes likes to tease her little sister - by holding a toy out of reach, for instance. (Most of the time, the girls are busy hugging and kissing and loving each other - but there are those moments....) Of course, teasing and taunting are not tolerated in our household.  But little Maddie has a streak in her that she keeps under wraps until just the right moment.  Up until now she has really never been guilty of this particular offense, but I totally had to restrain my laughter today when she grabbed some dolls Hope had previously been playing with (and hadn't allowed Maddie to join in) and started running through the house all smiles singing "you can't catch me! you can't catch me!"   Of course, Hope could catch her and did.  Still, this tactic has never been demonstrated to either of the girls - Maddie pulled it out all by herself.  Just goes to show that kids don't need mischievous others to teach them how to tease or misbehave...it's inherent. 

Mid-Century Modern Moms

I know that right now I am neck-deep in the "still-learning, limited experience, young-mother with preschool aged children" phase of parenting....but I also know that someday my children will be in the throes of teenhood and questions like: how long before they are good at wiping themselves?, is Gymboree or Children's Place better? and what the heck do we do with all of these accumulating toys? will all be left in  the past.  I'm always eager to hear from moms who have passed through this stage and are wrapping their minds around curfews and driver's licenses, popularity and sensitive feelings, current music, sports accidents and preparing for college.  So, I've enjoyed finding this other blog: MidCentury Modern Moms.  It's a combined effort on behalf of several interesting and talented blogger moms who are a little further down the path than I am currently and offer up a lot of insight and humor. It's so easy to become absorbed in the world of toddler and preschooler right now, it's really refreshing to see beyond myself!

Could I be a mother of 5?

Some days I'm a wreck at being a mother of two!  But, no, I'm not expecting triplets :) I'm taking a new job for two days each week watching the 3 amazing children of a good friend of mine.  The older two will sometimes be at school and sometimes I'll have all three plus my own two (all 6 yrs. and under) to wrestle with, but I'm really looking forward to it.  At the very least, I'll have that many more cute and quirky kid stories to share with you! I start Friday and I'll let you know how it goes........

I'm sorry but you are not our pet!

Recently, we've had one squirrel in particular seem to adopt us.  I've tried really hard to teach my kids to respect but not to touch or approach wild animals (or domestic ones they don't know)...but this furry little rodent is making this difficult. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that she comes to our door about twice a day and perches there on her hind feet waiting to see us.  Sometimes she'll sit there like that for 20 min. or more.  She's clearly not afraid of us....and the kids love her.  I finally gave in and let the girls throw out a handful of birdseed mix - but I refused to let them name her! 

The Theory of Probability

My two girls and I were walking down the path today with two other moms, both of whom have two boys. One friend commented that she mostly knew moms with either two boys or two girls and fewer moms with one child of each gender (which is true for my friendships as well).  The other friend, who is a very intelligent and respectable scientist, commented that if you have two kids of the same gender, the chance of your third child being of the opposite sex goes down dramatically (I can't remember the number but it was something like 35 or 25%. And if you have three of the same, the chance of your fourth being different goes down to something really low like 15 or 10%.  I found this intriguing and so decided to look into it a little further.  I didn't really find anything to back up her statement, I guess I'll have to ask her about it.  But I did find out some interesting things.  One, that there are more boys born in the U.S. per year than girls.  I found this article which presents a lot of data and sums up with:
              " Although we often hear the "statistic" that you are 30% or even 70% more likely to keep having the same gender, this is just an old wives tale. It is NOT a fact. The truth is, your odds stay pretty close to 50% for each child and only vary slightly. If you have had 2 or 3 boys, you are only about 2% to 6% more likely to have another boy. If you have had girls, you are slightly more likely to have a boy next."
Hmmm...interesting.
I found articles that explore theories that gender is determined not solely by chance (via the probability of male vs. female sperm) but by the nature of the mother - as in more boys are born to teenage mothers and girls to older mothers, the levels of testosterone of a mother, and exposure to dioxin or other chemicals.
Of course, there are the theories that because of the speed and strength variations in male vs. female sperm, you can effect your chances of conceiving one gender using position, timing, etc....
And there is just the general theory of probability (which is an interesting study in it's own as applied to subsequent children).  And then, there is the factor of God - or believing that the birth of individuals is ordained. 
My take on it all? I can be absolutely certain - if we were to have a third, it would likely be a ....... baby.

Community Spelling Bee

Here's a great opportunity!   SCORE! (located in the Northpoint Village Center) is hosting a community-wide spelling bee.  The spelling bee is completely free of charge and open to kids from K-10th grades.  The winners have the chance to WIN UP TO $1500 in college savings bonds! Here's what you need to know:

When:
Saturday, March 29th
11-2:00 pm

Where:
Mott Community Center
12111 Braddock Rd
Fairfax, VA 20124

To Register:
registration is free
call (703) 464-9300 or visit SCORE! at 1424 North Point Village Center before March 29th.

If you are unfamiliar with SCORE! Educational Centers you may find it a great resource.  Their mission is to deliver academic progress in a fun learning environment to inspire kids grades Pre-K through 10th to love learning.