Ask RESTONMOM - 4/11/07

Dear Restonmom,
"I know that you are a mom of girls, but I didn't know if you knew anything about little boys. There is a problem with a five year old and wetting the bed, and we don't know what to do anymore. He is not allowed to drink an hour before bed, he gets woken up before the last person in the house goes to bed to make him go, and he still ends up wetting the bed consistently Do you know of any other tricks? He just recently started doing it consistently instead of an accident every now and then, but I also know children will go through phases. Do you know anything? Thank you." - Ashley

Dear Ashley,
Bedwetting - called enuresis - is an extremely common thing among young children (even wetting every night), so don't be alarmed! Some things you might not know are that it is more common among boys than girls and it runs in families - in other words, it's likely that there is someone else in your family who had this too. Usually it eventually just stops on it's own without treatment.  The important thing to remember is that the child can't control it, it isn't their fault...but they can feel very uncomfortable, even ashamed about it.  Therefore, you'll want to avoid any kind of consequence or punishment regarding it, including verbally communicating disdain, anger, or disappointment.  It is better to encourage the child that there is nothing wrong with them, lots of people do this, and they will overcome it at some point.  Consider asking him to help take the sheets off in the morning when he awakens and put them in a designated spot with the soiled clothing as it may aid him in feeling that he is being responsible and helpful in the matter of something he otherwise cannot control.  There are no tricks to really help with this, it generally isn't caused by drinking too close to bedtime, etc... however the steps you are taking can be very helpful. Primary enuresis happens when a child has not managed to ever completely stay dry overnight through the course of time, while secondary enuresis is the term given when a child has been free from bed wetting for at least six months and then it reappears.  Secondary enuresis should be talked about with your pediatrician or child's health-care provider to make sure that there aren't other problems involved - but again, don't be alarmed as other problems are pretty rare.  I know this can be frustrating, exhausting and concerning as a parent - but take heart, it will get better and you can just be glad he doesn't have encopresis :)

Comments

[Kitty]

I totally agree with everything Tricia wrote. One thing I'd add is that this is SO common, especially in boys, especially under about age 6 or 7. The alarms that you may have seen or heard of that go off with wetness are not sll that helpful in this age group, they work better in older kids in whom this persists longer, which is not as common. If he starts having daytime accidents, foul-smelling urine, pain with urination or needing to go very frequently during the day, take him to your pediatrician to have urine tests done, but without those symptoms there's usually no cause for concern. It should get better with time, and punishing it will only add to his embarrassment and shame, just as Tricia discussed.