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SuperNoVa Mom

I've been dealing with this myself for a while and have come to the conclusion that the old saying is true, "It takes a village to raise a child," especially when the other villagers/parents aren't watching their child. In the first incident, I would have said gently but firmly, "Let's not yell at other people, and please don't get in her face," -- while pushing her back again gently but firmly out of my daughter's face. My reaction in the second instance would range from telling my daughter to just stay away from the boy and telling him to stay away from her (if I didn't want to cause a scene) to loudly scolding the kid until his parents came around (if I did want a scene). My own child has been gently scolded at a playground, and while I was angry at first, I couldn't very well say anything because I would have done the same thing. Maybe you could start a page devoted to Playground Etiquette, with suggestions for solutions from readers? Hmmm,food for blog thought?


We've been working on teaching our kids to defend themselves by saying things like 'no, that wasn't nice,' 'no, please stop doing that,' or just staying 'no' and coming to tell us. I am usually the one with other people scolding my kids. My kids are wild and with two it's often hard to watch both at the same time and they tend to wander many times where I can't always keep tabs on both. I am grateful for parents who do say something, but sometimes they are often a bit harsh. I like for my kids, while directed properly, to work out some of their own problems with other kids. Especially my 4 year old. But it really depends on what happened, where you are and your own kids. My 4-year old likes to be empowered with turning around and telling the kid, "no, that was not a nice thing to do" and then walking off.


I fall on the 'let them work it out' side of the fence. I kiss the booboos, sooth the ego (if needed) then trust my kid to avoid the bully...or not, but I let my 2 year fight his own battles (within reason, of course). Hovering seems more detrimental to me than a skint knee and hurt feelings. A kid would really have to scare me to gain a reprimand from me and if I do say something it would be pretty neutral like, "can we play in nicer way, guys?" On the opposite side, if my child was bullying, I would NOT get mad if you said something to him. Of course, he's small and not too mean, but when he needs to be reminded to be nice, it's often more effective from strangers, so by all means... It does take a village.

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