wills and custody

We recently had a very interesting and unexpected thing happen to us.  Some friends of ours asked us if we would consider taking custody of their children in the horrible event that something should happen to both parents. (This is not the family, by the way, whose children I watch regularly, for those of you who like to be sleuths :)  I was blown away by this.  It brought back to mind the need for my husband and I to have some wills executed for ourselves with stipulations for the care of our own children.  And as I pondered this and who I would entrust the care of my precious babies to, I felt totally honored and amazed that anyone would think so much of my husband and I that they would consider us, and I felt totally unworthy.  It really wasn't a difficult decision to say yes. Even after all things considered, I would absolutely love and raise those children as my own in a heartbeat, though I definitely hope and pray that nothing should ever happen to my friends.  I would definitely want to honor their wishes however, as I would want my desires for my own children to be honored.  For some people a choice like our friends made might be easy, but for others it may be really difficult.  In any case, I think it is wise to plan ahead for the best interest of our children in case of unfortunate events. 

Comments

[Alexandra]

One thing to think about in conjunction with this is life insurance. If you ask anyone to care for your children, you need to make sure it is not a financial burden on them. Taking on more children means the need for a bigger house, car, more groceries, etc. for most families. We have tried to make sure that if anything unfortunate occurs, the family members who will get our girls will not have financial worries.

[Jenna]

I'm so glad you're thinking about this - so many people in our age-range don't consider it until it's too late. I lost my father when I was 17, and if he and my mother hadn't diligently had insurance and wills in place, I know that our situation would have been much, much worse. My husband was in a similar situation with his father - but with the opposite results to the detriment of his mother. Just before Liam was born we went to our lawyer and had everything drawn up. I will tell you unequovically that it's not a fun process. They ask you some tough questions, and make your imagination go places you wish you wouldn't have to...but it's completely necessary. As one who has been there, I can't stress enough how you never know what tomorrow will bring. Without being maudlin, I would highly advise everyone here to get their affairs in order if you haven't already.

[Linda]

We did this after our second child was born. We have friends who have also agreed to take on our kids...it might involve selling our home for the money to raise them...but they graciously agreed as well. For us, it's the only option. My husband's parents are older and my mom is very sick. So it made sense to have my bestest friend in the world take on my kids. I hope she never has to do it.

[Robin Britton]

I just moved to Reston and have a 4 month old. Do you have a recommendation for a lawyer who handles wills and estates?

Thanks! I love your blog.