Reston Mom

Just the six of us

Well, four kids doesn't seem like a huge family to me - it feels full and good, but normal too.  I say that, and then when I see a family of six walking along, my reflex is still to say - oh that's a big family.  Until I count them, and realize that is what my family is looking like.  

I do notice a few tell-tale signs that our family has grown.  Here are a few things that clue me in to the fact that even if we aren't a huge family, we aren't a very small family either.

 - I load and unload the dishwasher at least twice a day, and that is with strong efforts to conserve from creating any excess dirty dishes and aside from hand washing pots and pans and such.

 - a few grocery items just don't go as far.  We go through almost an entire gallon of milk each day (think three kids who drink milk at three meals and I use it to make their oatmeal in the morning and then if Matt or I happen to want a glass or I need it as an ingredient in baking/cooking, well...) We can go through almost an entire loaf of bread in one lunch if we all have sandwiches.  We can also go through an entire bag of tortilla chips in one lunch as well.  I'm learning how to stretch ingredients to make them go farther these days.

 - laundry is never, ever, ever, caught up

 - if we all go out to eat, we are going to have to ask for a table for six (one highchair, one booster for a little while) - thereby making our wait longer and our options fewer (few restaurants have booths that hold six).  Needless to say, we won't be going out as much - mostly because of the cost.  Although, we have found some good ways to cut cost and eat out with kids).

 - often recreation = $$$   It is definitely much more costly to take six people to see a movie or to an amusement park or even on a relatively inexpensive trip if it requires lodging.  For now, we're the kind of family that has to plan ahead for these things and save them for special occasions.  We're learning to take advantage of a lot of great free recreation activities.

 - babysitting - first, paying for someone to watch 4 kids is more expensive.  second, finding someone who you trust to take care of all four kids at the same time can be difficult.  third, it is just less convenient.  A good friend or regular babysitter might be called upon fairly frequently to watch one or even two kids on short notice so that mom can run to the grocery store, the gym, or have dinner with her husband.  But, I couldn't ask someone to take four kids in that same way because I know what that entails regarding time, energy, and flexibility.  It definitely needs to be planned on and prepared for ahead of time.  Thank God for wonderful grandmas!

 - carrying stuff - this especially applies to a larger family of younger children.  I've definitely noticed that we're lugging around more stuff.  Even when we streamline as best as possible.  In the winter, four coats, scarves, mitten sets, and hats is very bulky.  Just try going to a friends house or a restaurant and see how much of their coat closet this takes up! In the summer, we're loaded down with bottles of drinking water, sun hats, sunglasses, etc.. to keep up with.  Not to mention a short trip to the pool - with all the towels, toys, floaties, snacks and drinks to carry along, you'd think we were going to the beach for a week to look at us.  Of course, there is usually a packed diaper bag in tow too - the more little ones there are, the more bulky the bag.  

 There are more examples then these.  And maybe these all seem like things that are rather undesirable, but it is just the result of there being more.  There are more people and that requires more of almost everything, that's for sure.  But it also means that there is more of the good stuff too - the special moments, the baby kisses, the funny and unique personalities.  More bedtime snuggles, more triumphant moments, more laughter, more people to play a good game together, more hands to help.  

My own experience with our size family has been that it is a whole lot less convenient, but very very satisfying too.

maybe she got the organizing gene

I gave Ami her cup and snack.  She ran off to the living room with them. Then she came back for a napkin. A few minutes later, I came out to see this neat little picnic arranged completely by her.  Who knew she had a knack for neatness? God bless her, I hope she keeps it! So cute. 

 

Homeschooling for the curious - your questions

Here are a few questions I've been asked -

When do you find time for curriculum planning?

    WELL, this is a tough one for me - one of the challenges I forgot to mention.  I don't really have a good set time or schedule for planning right now, which definitely would be useful.  At some point in the future, I'm absolutely going to have to plan a weekend retreat on occasion or "teacher work day" or something because trying to fit it in when I can in the evenings or weekends just doesn't work out well - and especially won't as subjects become more advanced.  For now, I have realized that this is a challenge and have specifically chosen curriculum materials that don't require much planning ahead on my part.  I can competently get away with that at a kindergarten and 2nd grade level.  Of course I actually do some thinking ahead though.  I have a planner book where I write out our subject lessons for each day about a month at a time.  This gets adjusted though as sometimes we move through things more quickly or slowly than expected.  Also, I find that crafty/creative stuff takes more time and prep. so I often have to think ahead about that.  And, I keep post-it notes in my notebook on each week for things like what materials we will need for science that week so that I can take a look beforehand and know what I need to gather up. When a family decides to pursue home education, they will need to take the needed prep time into consideration when choosing an approach/methodology as some really do require much more time.

What about socialization?

     This is always an interesting question.  I've never been hung up on this one.  When we decided to homeschool our children, it wasn't for the purpose of isolating them from others.  Our kids have neighborhood friends that they spend a good amount of time playing with and they make friends everywhere they go.  From time to time they participate in a group activity such as a dance class.  They also participate with their peers in class settings at church and in our supplementary program (Classical Conversations).  I have never noticed my children having a problem with awkwardness around other children or with creating relationships.  Another thing is that outside of the years spent in school, people are never completely surrounded by peers of their own age.  Adults intermingle in the workplace, social spheres, family, etc... with a variety of ages.  They are exposed to attitudes, thoughts, and behaviors that span generations.  I'm not worried about the fact that my children aren't surrounded by others all day whose age, maturity, and wisdom does not surpass their own.  I'm not convinced that they are missing any benefit there.  I sometimes wonder if that rather has the possibility of creating an isolated, false, and narrow view of the world - but I don't mean to digress with my own pondering.  As I've said, my children still continue to make friends their own age and engage in the appropriate social behaviors.  I don't want this to come across as unkind, but it seems to me that children who are very socially awkward, inappropriate, or otherwise challenged usually come from a family where the parents are a bit awkward themselves.  We are all different and that is great - but parents who generally enjoy and participate in social situations and don't isolate their children from doing likewise don't really need to worry about "socialization" in my opinion.  

easiest DIY play stove EVER!

I needed a storage option for some toys that are out in the girls' playhouse in the backyard - including some plastic food and dishes.  They like to play house/store out there and so after I bought this cheap 3-drawer plastic storage container, I decided to use a sharpie to turn the top of it into a stove so that they could play cook outside.  Voila!  And there is convenient storage for all the little foods and dishes underneath.  

This would be great inside too for toddlers while mom is working in the kitchen and could easily be pushed into a pantry or wherever when wanted out of sight.  

 

Amelia's vocabulary

 Listening to Ami today, I've been fascinated again by the development of speech in babies/children.  It is so neat to see them absorb so much and then begin to produce words.  It is clear that they understand so very much before they are able to speak about it - but it seems like when they finally start to make words for themselves, things just take off.  These are the words Ami uses right now, at least the ones I can remember.  Each of our girls have been different - Hope was speaking clearly in series of full sentences by the time she was two - it is funny to go back now and watch videos and see such a small person talking!  Maddie took more time, but certainly has had no problem.  Ami has always been a really great communicator - she could make her desires known well before she started speaking.  I think she's a bit of a go-getter.  But now that the words are coming, they just seem to be multiplying rapidly.  That might be my favorite part, just seeing how when something clicks in the brain for little ones they seem so rapid and unstoppable.  Once a kid is talking well, it becomes so difficult to remember a time when they didn't.  Even though I'm enjoying Ami's expanding vocabulary, I'm also taking in all of the adorable expressive babbling, the pointing, taking me by hand to show me something, turning my face to look at her while she babbles, etc... This is such a precious stage!

mama

dad

Hope

Maddie

up

cup

down 

boom 

whoa

uh-oh

hi

bye

night-night

bite

bellybutton

meow

duck

octopus

amen

five

book

eye

nose

more

shoes

open

no

please

mine

homeschooling for the curious - challenges we face

No matter what route you choose in life, there are bound to be challenges.  Homeschooling presents it's own particular ones and again it may vary from family to family.  Challenges that one family tackles successfully my seem insurmountable to another family.  These are just a few of the ones we have found in our own home along the way:

- Homeschooling with a variety of ages

       I get asked a lot about this one.  People want to know how I have been educating Hope while Maddie has been too young for school - and now how we will accomplish teaching two students with a toddler and a newborn in tow.  I don't have a special secret or flawless plan for this.  All I can say is that we have spent a lot of time over the years building in the "family is a team" mentality.  The girls understand the necessity of sharing divided time and caring for each other.  Also, my own personality comes into play here, I think.  I've never been a huge coddler - I'm confident that each of my children feels nurtured, but I've just never been one to hover. So, all of my children thus far have learned early on to be able to entertain themselves. Usually, the little ones just play while I teach the older ones.  I could never get used to a sling/carrier of any sort, so my babies have always just played in a floor gym or on a blanket next to us as we did our learning. I've been extremely blessed to have pretty independent, mild tempered babies.  Ami likes to climb on me sometimes while I am instructing, which is distracting and uncomfortable, but we just roll with it knowing that there is going to be little ones in and out of our study space and interested in what we are doing.  There are some toys in our school room too to keep the little ones busy.  

- Teaching different grades simultaneously

       This is new to us and still an interesting challenge, but the girls are patient and doing well.  Since we don't use something like a "thematic" approach, I am actually teaching two different levels of math, etc... Some things overlap very nicely however.  This may become more challenging over time, I"d bet, but as Hope gets older she is able to do more and more independent work which frees up time for me to teach lessons to Maddie.  Eventually, Hope will be able to help me teach the younger ones as well.  We just take turns as best as possible to address the needs of both children as they work and it is going fine for now.

- Personalities

        I'm just going to be frank about this - kids personalities are like adults, just very different from person to person.  You will probably naturally "get along" better with one child than another.  That is just life.  You can love them all tremendously, but it doesn't mean that you won't end up with a personality that can just grate on you.  Hope and I are extremely close, but she has the potential to drive me absolutely batty.  This is probably because she is just like me.  Sometimes, you may have siblings with a similar personality clash.  This is a challenge that has to be met day by day with love and understanding, grace and patience.  I require a lot of prayer in these areas.  But, I hope that as we come together this way in our own family, that we are teaching our children (and ourselves) how to practice more love, understanding, grace, and patience with the people we interact with outside our home as well.  

- Bad days

        Sometimes a child is tired or not feeling 100% well (the same goes for mommies).  There are days when there is whining, crying, moping, defiance, refusal, frustration...you get the picture.  There are just times when learning at home is hard.  The phrase, dare I say it,  "I hate school!" may even come into play.  As exhausting as those moments are, I don't take them too personally.  The same would be true if our kids were in any other school.  I find that usually the culprit is being too tired, being sick, or being frustrated about something in particular.  It takes tons of patience on my part to dig a little deeper to find what lies at the bottom of the meltdown, but it is actually a plus of homeschooling in my opinion to be able to take the time to address and nurture the root issues with my children.  The flexibility to stop and take a nap if someone is really desperate and come back to what we were working on later in a better frame of mind is wonderful.  There is great encouragement on the other side of these difficult moments instead of lingering negative feelings.  Plus, there is great opportunity to practice forgiveness toward one another.  Sometimes it is mommy that is having the bad day and I find the culprit is my own inflexibility or impatience or harshness.  I have to humble myself and admit to my children that even mommies act poorly sometimes and ask for their forgiveness.  I have learned so much about myself and my children in this process - we are growing and learning together and in ways that go much deeper than just book knowledge.  Sometimes we learn as much through a bad day as we do through a great, productive day.  

- Discipline

         Hope's kindergarten year was a good test year to determine if mom could be disciplined day in and day out.  Teaching my children is just like I took a full-time job.  It requires some planning, lots of thought and care, time during the day, etc...  It can get very tiring and routine sometimes.  I find that I suffer from Spring Fever and Winter Blues as much as children do.  There are days (especially when I had morning sickness) that I just didn't want to put in the time or the effort.  Sometimes, all I needed was a brief change in our schedule to allow an extra hour at the playground. On a rare occasion, mom would just give everyone a day off.  Referring back to the first post I did in this series, it is always the "why" that keeps me truckin. 

          In the same way, discipline is required of the children - as it is in any other school situation. While there is much freedom in learning, I also much teach my children that there are times to focus, study, and learn in a disciplined manner.  It is reasonable for them to learn to pay attention for a certain period of time.  These are skills that actually have to be taught, trust me. But they are skills they need to possess, and it keeps us sane. 

          On an added note: I can't imagine anyone trying to educate at home without first establishing some respect for parental authority in the home.  If your children have not been taught to receive your guidance and correction - if you are their peer and not their parent, home education may not go well for you.  

There are certainly other challenges and maybe I have forgotten some of them or haven't yet encountered others - if you have specific questions that I didn't address, feel free to ask!

Homeschooling for the curious - daily schedule

A day of school at home has to meet the needs of the family, the home, the educational purposes, etc... It can look very different for each family according to many variables.  This is just what works for us. And, because it is working for us right now doesn't mean that it won't change - there are slight changes every season and I re-evaluate our daily schedule each year.  Also, we tend to have an intentional routine daily schedule which I plan beforehand.  This aligns well with my own personality and the Classical methodology that we use.  I also find that a certain amount of consistency really helps my children from day to day as well as helping me to honestly assess our progress.  

One of the perks of our schedule at home is that we aren't rushed by the bell.  If something needs a little more time or catches our interest for further investigation, we can take some extra time.  If we manage to move more quickly, time is freed up.  We can take a break if someone is really frustrated or tired or hungry or if mommy needs to take some time to address discipline or character or change a baby's diaper, etc... So, even though our schedule is written out and we do try to stick to it, it has flexibility and flows more organically than maybe it appears on paper.  

Another thing is that my husband's day off from work is Monday.  This means family day and we do not do school but reserve the day entirely with great commitment for spending time all together.  We also have our supplementary program on Wednesday morning, I give Hope a piano lesson in the afternoon and Maddie is enrolled in a dance workshop for 8 weeks this fall in the afternoon, therefore we do not follow this schedule on Wednesdays either.  It is basically a 3 day schedule for us and we do manage to accomplish everything we need to during those days which is another perk of homeschooling.  If someone gets sick or it becomes necessary, we can do some additional work on Saturday morning. 

As of the beginning of this year - this is basically the schedule we are following, though I tend to push the time in the morning a bit more as the weather cools so we can go for a walk or get outside before school too for a short while.

6 am - Mom gets up 

7 am - by now all three girls are up

girls dress, brush, eat breakfast (often times I read to them at their request while they eat), perhaps play a little, Mom gets time with Ami to read or play

9 am - Ami takes a morning nap, Hope and Maddie and Mom begin the school day with the Bible and prayer.  Followed by practicing the history timeline.

Next, Hope and Maddie take out their pencil boxes and first two books.  We work on handwriting and then Math while seated.  With time before lunch we will work on our memory work for Classical Conversations (this may include songs, movement, drawing, etc...)  

About 11 am - Ami is up, the girls get a break while mom prepares lunch.  Then we eat lunch together - Mom reads from our History book or other books.  If we ran short on time and need to, we'll finish reviewing our memory work. 

Following lunch is reading time.  Hope reads from a chapter book, Mom works with Maddie.  If there is time before naps, Maddie may join Hope and Mom during spelling and science lessons.  Otherwise, she plays with Ami.

About 1:30 - Ami and Maddie take an afternoon nap.  Mom and Hope will finish up spelling and science if needed.   Otherwise, this is quiet time in our house.  Hope has "restful time" and mom catches up on housework, computer, preparations for dinner, etc....

By around 3 everyone is up again and the afternoon is ours for hitting the playground, doing a craft/activity, playing with friends, running errands or whatever.

5 pm - Matt is home from work and we all have dinner together.  Post dinner is family time with Ami going to bed first around 6:30 and then we read a bedtime story and pray together before Hope and Maddie are in bed between 7:30 and 8 pm.  

8 pm - 10 pm is mom and dad alone time, which Matt and I try very hard to reserve exclusively for hanging out with each other - even if we're just relaxing, no work allowed! 

10 pm - bedtime!

homeschooling for the curious - what curriculum we use

There is a ton of stuff out there and some of it is really good.  Plus, there are gobs of resources.  These are the curricula materials that we have decided on for now, but it doesn't mean we won't switch if something else will suit us better or take advantage of other materials alongside of these.  So far, we have been happy with our choices.

First, just as a side note and an addendum to the last homeschooling post where I mentioned approach - it might be helpful to know that we have chosen a Classical approach to learning in our home.  We are therefore enrolled in a supplementary program, Classical Conversations, that meets in age-group classes once a week.  Here, the girls get to engage with their peers in various science experiments, art projects, memory work, etc... But it is only a supplemental program and we work through several subjects at home.  We do follow a schedule and use specific curriculum. Here is what we are using this year:

Math - Math U See (both Hope and Maddie use this curriculum)

Science - A Reason for Science (Hope uses the curriculum, though Maddie participates in the observations/experiments)

Spelling - All About Spelling (Hope uses the curriculum, though Maddie works on the phonograms too)

Handwriting - Maddie is using A Reason for Handwriting, Hope is journaling each day with a writing prompt to further practice writing skills and refine handwriting in preparation for cursive.

History - We are reading through The Story of the World

Reading - Maddie works through Bob Books and beginner readers, Hope reads chapter books to herself and sometimes aloud to mom and occasionally prepares a book report, Mom reads to the girls everyday. Last year, Hope also used some reading comprehension workbooks.

Memory work - through Classical Conversations and the accompanying resources, both Maddie and Hope will memorize 600 facts spanning subjects of math, science, history, geography, Latin grammar, and English grammar as well as a history timeline.  Believe it or not, this is actually one of their favorite things - this will be Hope's 3rd year and Maddie's 1st, though Maddie has enjoyed memorizing with Hope in the past years. 

Additional learning - our family will participate in a variety of learning experiences or "field trips" including visiting the library, historical sites, farms, and museums, taking nature walks/hikes, cooking, exercise, culture and tradition and whatever else catches our fancy or incites further interest.  I try to work in crafts/art here and there and encourage their creativity.  They are also afforded plenty of time for play.  

vacation pics

 

We took a week in Virginia Beach back in June, but I didn't manage to get any pics up earlier b/c they have all been on Matt's phone. We had a great time though.  This was the first year that the girls finally decided they LOVE the beach.  We couldn't keep them out of the water and sand.  VA beach is a great place for a family vacation, we're grateful to have family that lives there so we can visit year round.

         
   
 
 
 
 
 
 

Homeschooling for the curious - where to begin before you begin

When people start thinking about homeschooling, they start asking about things like curriculum.  But there are definitely a few things I recommend people think through and do long before they get to curriculum and homeschool groups, etc...  

1. The Why before the How  

              This is more important than you might think.  There will be difficult days - it won't matter how you do things or what you do, it will fall apart (at least on those days) if you don't have a solid WHY. And, over the long haul you'll get worn down and worn out and doubtful unless you have a "why" - your goal, mission, whatever you want to call it - to keep you focused.

              This looks really different for everyone.  I suggest (for homeschoolers and non-home educators alike) that you actually take time to sit down and write out the values and goals that are most important in raising and educating your children.  Decide what you want the outcome to be in say, 18 years. Then, spend some time considering what is the best way to get there from here.  Is it a home education? Is it public school? Is it something else?  Then, you can begin to plan the "how" accordingly. Also, speaking as a Christian to other believers, I would say - ask God what He wants you to do.  Many parents make lots of plans, but never stop to honestly and humbly really ask the question of God.  

2.  First Steps on the "How" Path

              Don't run to your computer and start googling curriculum or "homeschool" - you'll invite chaos and confusion in heaping amounts.  With the growing popularity of home education, there is a plethora of resources, advice, communities, etc... and they are not all for you.  Don't spend hours hopping down rabbit trails that lead you in a million different directions.

              Do a little research on methodology or approach.  You will find these key words and maybe one or two more: Traditional, Charlotte Mason, Classical, Unit Study, Unschooling, Independent Study, Eclectic, Umbrella Program. I recommend the book "100 Top Picks for Homeschool Curriculum" by Cathy Duffy for a concise overview and some helpful charts/resources - browse through it at a bookstore if you can or purchase it if you like.  Decide which of these approaches best suits you and your family and which approach is best aligned with your "why" goals.  Then you can begin to look into specific curriculum and resources that fit your approach(es) and you can avoid being sucked in a million other distracting directions.  

3.  Look Challenge in the Face

              If you come to this step, then you are probably pretty seriously considering homeschooling as a real option.  Only now, the practical difficulties will be staring you down.  Time for strategy.  My first strategy is prayer and lots of it.  But beyond that, you will need to address a few things - though, you don't need to have them all perfectly worked out - just keep them in mind.  Areas where concern might start bubbling up include: making a financial plan, addressing insecurities about whether you can "handle this", "be the teacher", and all other relational matters with your own children, what dad's role and involvement are to be, organization in the home, etc...  Again - taking a look at your "WHY" will keep you moving down the path while you wrestle through logistics.  In addition, don't be too hard on yourself. Nobody ever feels like they are fully equipped for this by themselves - most of us start out feeling totally unequipped as a matter of fact.  It is helpful if you can find another family or two that have been doing this successfully for a little while and you like what you are seeing - maybe someone who is still in the first few years and someone who is graduating kids.  Pick their brains.  Joining a group can be very helpful and supportive too - just remember, people are going to be doing things differently and not everyone will have it right for you.  

 ....so there is a jumping off point for you.  Feel free to leave any questions or comments and I'll be writing another post soon.  
 

Homeschooling for the curious

I've had a lot of questions recently regarding our homeschooling adventures from parents who are maybe interested and even people who are just curious because it seems crazy or different to them.  So, I thought I'd do a couple of posts.  I welcome any questions and comments as I go along.  Here are the kinds of things you can take a peek at in the next few posts:

- Where to begin before you begin

- What curriculum we use

- What our daily schedule looks like

- What challenges us the most

Family Night! - Back to School

School is back in session at our house.  One of the perks of homeschooling is setting your own schedule. This year, that means working through August so that we can take November and December entirely off and enjoy the holidays and the arrival of (and all the changes that come with) our new baby boy.  

We're off to a great start and I thought it would be fun to celebrate and cheer the girls on with a Back-to-School themed family night.  We went pretty simple, but had a ton of fun.

I've only managed to snag a few pics, as the rest are still on Matt's iphone - but here is what we did:

- dinner in the school room

        Sometimes a change of setting for the family meal is an exciting treat.  I packed dinner in each of our lunch boxes and we ate around the table in the school room.  The menu was juice boxes, apple, chips, and lean pockets.  

- yearbooks

         I pulled out one of my own and one of Matt's yearbooks from way back in the middle school years and also our college yearbooks.  The girls had fun seeing how silly we looked when we were young and even picking out people we went to school with whom they know - including Uncle Heath (who met Matt in middle school) and our close friends from college.  

- games

          I collected a bunch of school supplies and put them in Hope's backpack.  We each took turns blindly pulling something out and trying to guess what it was.  Then, we hit the giant chalkboard wall in the school room for some doodling and tic-tac-toe

- dessert

          I browsed the internet for some school-themed cupcakes and came up with these.  My own special twist was to make the apples out of starburst candies (the leaves are a random flat sour candy I found). The "chalkboards" are chocolate covered grahams and the "chalk" is Good n' Plenty.  

   
 
 
 

motherhood and depression

A couple of women have started a support group here in Reston - I think it is a great idea! I'm posting the information in case you or someone you know might benefit from this.  I've been very lucky to not have experienced any depression with the births of my children so far, but have known plenty of women who have and I'm grateful that there is a now resource in our town.  

Is motherhood or pregnancy not what you expected?  If you are struggling with feelings of anxiety, irritabilility, or sadness, you are not alone.  Depression is the most common complication of pregnancy and childbirth.  
 
The Reston Mothers Support Group is open to anyone feeling overwhelmed by motherhood or pregnancy.  Come meet and talk with other moms who understand your experience and know that things can get better.
 
Meetings are held on the 2nd and 4th Thursday of every month at 10 a.m. in the conference room of the Reston YMCA at 12196 Sunset Hills Rd., Reston.  Meetings are free, babies are welcome, and thanks to the YMCA, childcare is available for older babies and toddlers during the meeting.  
 
For more information, contact one of the group co-leaders, Jessica Monte (703-863-3601) or Rebecca Castagna ([email protected]), or visit Postpartum Support Virginia at http://postpartumva.org/.